He told me: “We have a name for people like you…”

When I started working with people with disabilities I was told something that made me realize we are all the same. He said, "We (the person with a disability) have a name for people like you (a person without a disability) … It is ‘temporarily abled.’ When he saw my quizzical look he further explained … “everyone is just one accident or one disease away from being disabled and you are on this side of that life (being disabled)." I took what he said and thought about what I would want if my life's journey had that in store for me. My takeaway was that we all want to make a living and support our families no matter what life happens to throw at us. Additionally, my experiences as an Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) coordinator has demonstrated that one may also experience the challenges of growing older and develop disabilities over time.

Being attuned to the people in your workplace is critical in today's employment market.

Sometimes changes happen all of a sudden, other times they happen gradually, over time, and we unconsciously find ways to compensate. Friends and coworkers also find ways to compensate for someone’s disability and it becomes the dance that they do.

Case in point, I had been on an extended leave. When I returned I visited a coworker and noticed all twenty of the York Candies in her candy dish were facing me. I thought, 'hmmm, that is a little weird' and I made a comment about them. She said, "Oh no, I did that because a co-worker cannot see that well and when they were scattered all about in the candy dish he could not recognize what they were." (Just for context, that specific candy was the only thing that was in her candy dish.) What this did make me realize was that the actions of those around us can highlight potential areas that we need to be aware of. Asking the curiosity question, like I did, can elicit valuable information!

If you are in a position of leadership, do not be afraid of connecting /communicating with the reasonable accommodation experts in your organization. This group of experts are there to support you and your employee. The sooner you have the right people involved in addressing these workplace issues the better. To quote Maya Angelou, “When you know better, you do better.”

Bridging the cultural divide ….

Walk with me for a little bit… My twenty four years of traveling the globe in the military placed me in situations where I did not know what was culturally insensitive or not. Our intelligence officers tried to make us aware of the customs as best they could, and believe me, the need to be aware can make all the difference in the world.

I was deployed to Saudi Arabia and standing guard at a two person post with a local soldier who did not speak any English, and, for the record, I did not speak any Arabic. The cultural confusion/commotion started shortly after we sat down together. I sat in my usual position, with one leg crossed over the other, which resulted in the bottom of my boot being pointed in his direction. In Saudi Arabia, this is a significant insult! For those of you that already know…you will never make that mistake twice. By pointing the bottom of my boot in his direction I was sending the message that I felt this soldier was lower than the ground I walked on. In this instance – a completely unintentional act. It’s one thing when you don’t know. However, it is something else when you do know it and you intentionally do it!

Navigating the minefield of sensitivity ….

Another example happened just prior to my retirement from the military in 2011. The United States Air Force (USAF) held a town hall meeting on-base and servicemembers were encouraged to speak their mind about the military removing the “don’t ask don’t tell policy.” For those who don’t recall this had policy required that Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) service members keep their sexual identities under wraps. At the meeting a male stood up and said something to the effect of, “This place has gotten so sensitive that if I do not believe what ‘everyone else’ believes then I am wrong.” After mind massaging that one for a while all I could think was that guy must walk around all day feeling miserable.

Rarely can we ever get ‘everyone else’ to be on the same page or agree with each other on many things! Even in an office of 10 people getting them all to believe the same thing is next to impossible. Don’t believe me? Ok …I challenge you to get 10 people at your workplace to agree on who they believe will win the Super Bowl this year. Or … to agree on what are the right toppings on a pizza that is large enough for all of them to share!

Final thoughts …

A person does not have to be sensitive to do what is right and to behave respectfully.

Have you ever noticed that the people who want the most respect tend to be the last among us to give it? The bottom line: through the years people have been encouraged to ‘tolerate’ others. The problem: the word ‘tolerate’ can have a wide range of definitions and most of which requires the person doing the tolerating to experience a sense of loss.

Try this, remove ‘tolerate’ and insert ‘respect’.

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My passion is to provide individuals in workplace with tools designed to improve employee engagement. If you enjoyed this blog, there are several more currently on our website at https://www.elitemauiteambuilding.com/blog

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If needed, I am capable providing your team with Title VII and/or Sexual Harassment annual training. Please view our website Elite Maui Team Building: Services tab https://www.elitemauiteambuilding.com/services-1